Today I’m pondering why I’m both optimistic (but mainly) pessimistic. Get out now if you don’t want a dampner on your fun Friday feelings.
Previously I have admitted my love of being sad in a post titled ‘Oh Sadness,I’m Your Girl.’ This may be in the same vein as that post. In my day to day life I have seconds of happiness (mostly due to the occasional couple of Solpadeine. God bless codeine, right?), possibly even milliseconds and then they vanish due to an overpowering thought or feeling. I like to think of my optimistic/pesimistic tendancies like Optimus Prime and Mega Tron, constantly at battle with one another with Mega Tron usually having the upper hand.
I don’t know if anyone gets that where a mildly happy feeling or thought is almost immediately crushed by a ‘what’s the point’ or counteractive thought. It’s almost like moments of glee need to be balanced out with hours of negative emotions and thought processes. I suppose it’s like binge eating. You’re quite happy to eat a whole cake and feel full and joyful for a few moments and then right after you feel crap for weeks. It’s a bit like that in this noggin of mine.
It goes a little like ‘Oh it’s the weekend yaaaaaaay’ and then ‘but Monday is so soon’, or ‘Gonna write this blog post’ and then ‘is there any point if no one might even see it?’ There’s no explanation of where this battle of the outlooks came from. My glass is simultaneously full and half-full.
I’ve seen a few posts like ’10 ways to a happier you’ but then I’m like ‘easier for you to say you’ve already got the sun shining out your ass.’ It’s very hard to keep up a positive streak and extremely easy to give in to a negative one. Although I an open to suggestions anyone may have or agreements!
irunablog 
See this is why I love this blog, you’re speaking my language again!
I can completely relate to, especially with regards to blog posts and whether anyone will actually see them. In that instance I just tell myself to shut up and get writing and it seems to work.
Thank you, nice to know someone else gets where I’m coming from. I’m usually the same with blog posts I just get them out as quickly as I can, tidy them up and then publish them before I get the chance to go down negative lane.
You’re welcome. Yeah, it’s just a matter of getting it done and hitting publish before I talk myself out of it. I think that’s the reason there’s been a few more 4am posts on my blog lately, I seem to feel more confident about things in my insomnia induced state 🙂
Insomnia makes posts a little easier to write and adds a bit of a crazy edge to them I think. It’s almost like writing when you’re drunk. I think everyone should do one drunk post a month and see what crazy stuff they come out with.
Now there’s an idea! Haha! You’d get all sorts of crazy outta me if I was to publish the stuff I write when I’m drunk.